Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
