maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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