My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
smell my finger.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
two words...techno handjob
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i out mim tonsoeep
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