meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
