I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
