SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
