There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So vagazzling was a success
All I want is dick and wine.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
