just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
