It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
