I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
