Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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