there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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