is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
