I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
