I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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