i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
