I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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