Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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