I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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