The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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