Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize