So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The air taste purple.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
