Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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