Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
