everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
