so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
