I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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