Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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