yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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