worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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