I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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