yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
