She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
