I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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