Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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