did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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