I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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