ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
