well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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