this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
MIDGETS
????
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
