guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize