I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
