When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
