Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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