one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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