would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
