Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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