This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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