Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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