I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
