wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
