She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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