You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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