Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize