Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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