i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
