does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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