Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
