Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
