so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize