your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
