What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
